Chapter 4: Black or White?

"Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me...
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you" Why Can't I by Liz Phair

The car stops in front of a deli shop, a few meters away from the University. Alfred leaves it idling, gets out of the car and closes it. Alessandra wasn't looking at Paolo. Her thoughts were far away at this moment, with Richard. The wanting came at a time when her life was being set out for her. Each word that comes out of Richard's lips were, what was the word, ah yes: seductive. Like a witches' ascension, so does the power it comes along with. A seduction that not only will electrify her, but might also kill her.
"How well have you known him?"
"Enough to keep me alive after three long years of being in isolation," said Alessandra almost above a whisper.
"I know of that isolation of yours. But it doesn't mean you have to be blinded, am I not right?" asked Paolo incredulously.
"Since when did you care?" her voice about to rise.
"For you information Alessandra, if you hadn't noticed, he is a statesman's son. A political world you were born to avoid. It was never your world!"
"I don't care! I could defend where he came from, or who he is. It does not matter!"
"It matters, because your name is at stake! You could defend him, I know that, but until when?"

The temperature in the car was rising despite the aircon. Alfred approaches the car, opens the door and slides in.
"Young masters, your voices are being heard outside. People are looking. Master Paolo, will you please tell her what you needed to tell her. Otherwise, she will be late for her class. We do not want to have Atty. Vincent Benedict waiting for her."
"Tell me what?"
"You may feel the "wanting", the "breaking the rules", but we have been informed that he is seeing you for a purpose. If his intentions are pure, we will see it in writing," says Paolo in a terse voice. He didn't want to cause anymore pain in Alessandra but she has to find out.
"Which side are you on? Mine or theirs?"
"Yours of course. But weigh your options! Now go and attend your class. But please be careful. We love you Alessandra."

Alessandra opens the door and walks out. She was tempted to slam the door, but didn't. Her pace quickened not because she was about to be late, but, she didn't want the tears to fall down either. Why was life being unfair to her? She could feel the currents in her. Coursing through her veins, arms, her body. If she could only...

A few steps later her phone rings. She takes the call.
"Hello, I hope I am not disturbing you, but I was hoping to pick you up after your class. Is that alright?"
Alessandra's heartbeat pulsated fast. Her brain says no, but her heart is shouting yes. She didn't know what to say. Then everything went black. The mobile phone drops on the ground, and her knees buckled. Alfred saw what happened and revs the car towards the location where she was last seen.

Fate decided or consequences altered?

Chapter 3: Treading on Dark Waters

Emotions were rising to almost 38 degrees. Alessandra couldn't think straight. She didn't know whether to follow her brain or her heart. Logically, the heart is controlled by the brain, therefore making the brain superior. But enough of logic. She had enough for the entirety of the time she sat in front of Richard. Her mobile phone rings and it surprises her a bit.
"Aren't you getting the call? Must be important."
"It's just a cousin of mine."
"Take the call, I don't mind."
Alessandra's hand shook. She sensed what the call was. But she didn't let Richard see the fear on her face. She smiled weakly, took the call and bated her breath.
"Who are you with?" asked Paolo, her cousin from the maternal side of the family.
"I am by myself, studying for an exam before my class later at the University." pursing her lips tightly as she started with a lie.
"I am the last person you should lie to, and you know that. Someone saw you with a man, a known statesman's son I believe," added Paolo with a sneer.
Alessandra felt him sneering, she couldn't speak. But after a few seconds, she gathered her courage and spoke through her teeth.
"That's great! Since when did it become your business?" smiled Alessandra, trying to keep her face straight. Richard was eyeing her every move.
"Since we found out, what is he capable of and when you're life is at stake!" answered Paolo in a terse voice. He didn't want to make a scene in front of the public, as he was just outside where Alessandra was.
"That's interesting. Can I get back to you in five minutes? Let's meet at 5th and 6th. I need to leave anyway. Thanks and see you!" Alessandra chirped happily. But her mind began to divide. She didn't want Richard to find out who it was and what it was. She looked at him coyly and smiled.
"Where were we?
"We were discussing our next meet. By the way, I read your works. Full of emotions, passion and color. Something worth the performance. I know it's too much to ask, but what were you feeling when you wrote that?"
"Well..." started Alessandra with a smirk on her face, "...something electrifying. Like a delta current between wanting and letting go."
"It seemed like, pleasure and pain in its most highest of form. Don't you agree?"

Alessandra paused for a while. She's feeling the currents at the moment. Pain and pleasure. Excitement throbbing inside, waiting to come out. Her eyes drift across the room and she sees the time on another customer's watch. It read fifteen minutes past seven.

"I have to go. My classes at the University starts in fifteen minutes. Plus my driver is waiting outside to bring me there. I am really sorry."
"It's okay. Next time, perhaps?"
"Perhaps. Goodbye!"

Richard reaches for her hand and kisses her cheek. She smiles and leave. Her driver waiting at the door of the cafe where she was studying. She hands her attache case to Alfred, her driver and they walk to the car. Alfred reaches for the door and opens. She slides in fluidly. Door closes and she eases herself on the rear passenger seat. As the driver closes the door, her cousin Paolo joins them in the car.

"Timely dear cousin. Care to elaborate on the details?"
"I will tell you when we get to the University. Alfred, shall we roll on?"

The driver nods his head and starts the engine, warming it up a bit and revs. Alessandra looks forward and starts thinking as the car began to move.

Danger or Safety?

Chapter 2: Where is fancy bred? In the heart or in the head?

"There is an angle of the sunset I want to capture on canvas. But I never seem to get it right."
"Why is that? You ran out of paints?" Alessandra laughs, grinning from ear to ear.
"No. I don't have someone to watch it with."

And just like that. It blew her away. How could something so beautiful be sinful? She felt invincible. The world, her oyster. She looks at herself in the mirror, and she doesn't see a change. Nothing has, except, her soul alive for the first time.

Do I want you because you're wonderful
Or are you wonderful because I want you?
Are you the sweet invention of a lovers dream
Or are you really as beautiful as you seem? - Cinderella, Rodgers and Hammerstein

Sweet song playing in the background. Alessandra begins to melt into space. Her eyes moist from the tears slowly forming in her eyes. She gasps in glee.
"How could something be passionate and so soulful be a sin at the same time?" wonders Alessandra. It was something she had been wanting for so long. The wanting. It cannot be explained. A perplexed feeling inside, bursting with emotions. Pain and pleasure crashing like the waves upon the sand. Her legs thrashed to and fro. Why was life being unfair? She never felt this alive after three years. When Stefano came into her life, her soul was electrified.
"Are you listening to your head or your heart?" asked Richard from across the table.
"I don't know what to listen to anymore. It's as if something was broken for the first time."
"You told me there is someone new, but are you willing to cut yourself free from the chains that bind you?

Alessandra doesn't answer. She doesn't know what to say or how to say it in fear of hurting Richard.
Was it fair or unfair? She didn't know now. Her head was dictating what her heart should feel. Should she listen to its whispers? Her heart shouts:"YOU KNOW WHAT IS RIGHT! FOR ONCE, LISTEN TO IT!"

Lies. Nothing but lies. She looks at Richard, straight in the eye, starts to put her hand on top of his. But decided not to. She didn't want him to see her weak...

Weakness or courage?

Chapter 1: Notes from the Heart

Dearest Richard,

As I write this letter, there is a fear in my heart that has been going on for quite awhile. I am very thankful that I met you, but I feel like I am being unfair. Not only to myself, but to you as well. Three years ago, I met someone exactly like you. Smart, fun, adventurous and more than I could wish for and more, but I don’t want to compare. Though today would be incomparable to before, it is still not the same. We are from two different worlds, but our values and perspective are the same. True, I do not regret the choices that I make, but this one I would truly regret making. Saying hello is easy, but goodbye the hardest.

I am so sorry. Dovrei dire addio, l’unica cosa da fare...

With much love,

Alessandra

A month ago, it would've sounded less painful. But Alessandra knew it was over. She has yet to make the hardest decision of her life. Leaving the life she know would not only hurt her, but would scar her for her life. She met Richard in an art gallery near the Louvre. He wasn't the type of man, she would typically go out with. He was a son of a known statesman, and everybody knew his father. But they share the same values, same perspective in life. Of course, Alessandra knows, it wouldn't work out. And even if it did, would it be the same? So many questions, but left a few answers hanging. He would always talk in prose. Quoting from his own collection.

"I see here on this piece, you are searching. Correct me if I am wrong, but on all of your pieces. I'm just curious, but maybe you didn't search anymore? That maybe the person you have been looking for is right right in front of you?"Alessandra chose her words carefully. Her words may mean a lot of things like a spike on a stump, but to her those words at the moment were meant to ask, not to imply.

"I have been searching, ever since..." Richard left the words hanging.

"Since when? I am sure, by now you have been healed?"

"That would be the ultimate lie, and you know that." Added Richard with a wink. He had been bold to answer her question, but it still left Alessandra hanging. She didn't mean to sound condescending, and she knew that was truth.

"...you know, that regardless of what I say, my answer will be quite to your appeal. I neither know how to go around it, but alas, it is something quite near to the heart."

"But that would sound condescending of me, if ever."

"No it doesn't. Why do you do this to yourself, treating yourself unfairly?" asked Richard, eyeing her from across the table.

"No, I am not treating myself unfairly. I, on the other hand is just being careful."

"Fair enough, suit yourself."

And that was that. End of conversation.

Or was it?

Letter from the Author

Dear Reader,

This story is about six twin siblings who have come to me to tell their story. Like you and me, they’re normal individuals who roam around the busy streets of the metropolis living the daily grind. It’s up to you whether you want to believe it or not, but I leave that choice on you. I tell the story as they have told me themselves. How this story ended up on your computer screen, I do not blame you if you will ignore this or click the small X button at the upper right part of the screen. But nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed their

life’s story as I did.

The Author