Chapter 4: Black or White?

"Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me...
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you" Why Can't I by Liz Phair

The car stops in front of a deli shop, a few meters away from the University. Alfred leaves it idling, gets out of the car and closes it. Alessandra wasn't looking at Paolo. Her thoughts were far away at this moment, with Richard. The wanting came at a time when her life was being set out for her. Each word that comes out of Richard's lips were, what was the word, ah yes: seductive. Like a witches' ascension, so does the power it comes along with. A seduction that not only will electrify her, but might also kill her.
"How well have you known him?"
"Enough to keep me alive after three long years of being in isolation," said Alessandra almost above a whisper.
"I know of that isolation of yours. But it doesn't mean you have to be blinded, am I not right?" asked Paolo incredulously.
"Since when did you care?" her voice about to rise.
"For you information Alessandra, if you hadn't noticed, he is a statesman's son. A political world you were born to avoid. It was never your world!"
"I don't care! I could defend where he came from, or who he is. It does not matter!"
"It matters, because your name is at stake! You could defend him, I know that, but until when?"

The temperature in the car was rising despite the aircon. Alfred approaches the car, opens the door and slides in.
"Young masters, your voices are being heard outside. People are looking. Master Paolo, will you please tell her what you needed to tell her. Otherwise, she will be late for her class. We do not want to have Atty. Vincent Benedict waiting for her."
"Tell me what?"
"You may feel the "wanting", the "breaking the rules", but we have been informed that he is seeing you for a purpose. If his intentions are pure, we will see it in writing," says Paolo in a terse voice. He didn't want to cause anymore pain in Alessandra but she has to find out.
"Which side are you on? Mine or theirs?"
"Yours of course. But weigh your options! Now go and attend your class. But please be careful. We love you Alessandra."

Alessandra opens the door and walks out. She was tempted to slam the door, but didn't. Her pace quickened not because she was about to be late, but, she didn't want the tears to fall down either. Why was life being unfair to her? She could feel the currents in her. Coursing through her veins, arms, her body. If she could only...

A few steps later her phone rings. She takes the call.
"Hello, I hope I am not disturbing you, but I was hoping to pick you up after your class. Is that alright?"
Alessandra's heartbeat pulsated fast. Her brain says no, but her heart is shouting yes. She didn't know what to say. Then everything went black. The mobile phone drops on the ground, and her knees buckled. Alfred saw what happened and revs the car towards the location where she was last seen.

Fate decided or consequences altered?

Chapter 3: Treading on Dark Waters

Emotions were rising to almost 38 degrees. Alessandra couldn't think straight. She didn't know whether to follow her brain or her heart. Logically, the heart is controlled by the brain, therefore making the brain superior. But enough of logic. She had enough for the entirety of the time she sat in front of Richard. Her mobile phone rings and it surprises her a bit.
"Aren't you getting the call? Must be important."
"It's just a cousin of mine."
"Take the call, I don't mind."
Alessandra's hand shook. She sensed what the call was. But she didn't let Richard see the fear on her face. She smiled weakly, took the call and bated her breath.
"Who are you with?" asked Paolo, her cousin from the maternal side of the family.
"I am by myself, studying for an exam before my class later at the University." pursing her lips tightly as she started with a lie.
"I am the last person you should lie to, and you know that. Someone saw you with a man, a known statesman's son I believe," added Paolo with a sneer.
Alessandra felt him sneering, she couldn't speak. But after a few seconds, she gathered her courage and spoke through her teeth.
"That's great! Since when did it become your business?" smiled Alessandra, trying to keep her face straight. Richard was eyeing her every move.
"Since we found out, what is he capable of and when you're life is at stake!" answered Paolo in a terse voice. He didn't want to make a scene in front of the public, as he was just outside where Alessandra was.
"That's interesting. Can I get back to you in five minutes? Let's meet at 5th and 6th. I need to leave anyway. Thanks and see you!" Alessandra chirped happily. But her mind began to divide. She didn't want Richard to find out who it was and what it was. She looked at him coyly and smiled.
"Where were we?
"We were discussing our next meet. By the way, I read your works. Full of emotions, passion and color. Something worth the performance. I know it's too much to ask, but what were you feeling when you wrote that?"
"Well..." started Alessandra with a smirk on her face, "...something electrifying. Like a delta current between wanting and letting go."
"It seemed like, pleasure and pain in its most highest of form. Don't you agree?"

Alessandra paused for a while. She's feeling the currents at the moment. Pain and pleasure. Excitement throbbing inside, waiting to come out. Her eyes drift across the room and she sees the time on another customer's watch. It read fifteen minutes past seven.

"I have to go. My classes at the University starts in fifteen minutes. Plus my driver is waiting outside to bring me there. I am really sorry."
"It's okay. Next time, perhaps?"
"Perhaps. Goodbye!"

Richard reaches for her hand and kisses her cheek. She smiles and leave. Her driver waiting at the door of the cafe where she was studying. She hands her attache case to Alfred, her driver and they walk to the car. Alfred reaches for the door and opens. She slides in fluidly. Door closes and she eases herself on the rear passenger seat. As the driver closes the door, her cousin Paolo joins them in the car.

"Timely dear cousin. Care to elaborate on the details?"
"I will tell you when we get to the University. Alfred, shall we roll on?"

The driver nods his head and starts the engine, warming it up a bit and revs. Alessandra looks forward and starts thinking as the car began to move.

Danger or Safety?

Chapter 2: Where is fancy bred? In the heart or in the head?

"There is an angle of the sunset I want to capture on canvas. But I never seem to get it right."
"Why is that? You ran out of paints?" Alessandra laughs, grinning from ear to ear.
"No. I don't have someone to watch it with."

And just like that. It blew her away. How could something so beautiful be sinful? She felt invincible. The world, her oyster. She looks at herself in the mirror, and she doesn't see a change. Nothing has, except, her soul alive for the first time.

Do I want you because you're wonderful
Or are you wonderful because I want you?
Are you the sweet invention of a lovers dream
Or are you really as beautiful as you seem? - Cinderella, Rodgers and Hammerstein

Sweet song playing in the background. Alessandra begins to melt into space. Her eyes moist from the tears slowly forming in her eyes. She gasps in glee.
"How could something be passionate and so soulful be a sin at the same time?" wonders Alessandra. It was something she had been wanting for so long. The wanting. It cannot be explained. A perplexed feeling inside, bursting with emotions. Pain and pleasure crashing like the waves upon the sand. Her legs thrashed to and fro. Why was life being unfair? She never felt this alive after three years. When Stefano came into her life, her soul was electrified.
"Are you listening to your head or your heart?" asked Richard from across the table.
"I don't know what to listen to anymore. It's as if something was broken for the first time."
"You told me there is someone new, but are you willing to cut yourself free from the chains that bind you?

Alessandra doesn't answer. She doesn't know what to say or how to say it in fear of hurting Richard.
Was it fair or unfair? She didn't know now. Her head was dictating what her heart should feel. Should she listen to its whispers? Her heart shouts:"YOU KNOW WHAT IS RIGHT! FOR ONCE, LISTEN TO IT!"

Lies. Nothing but lies. She looks at Richard, straight in the eye, starts to put her hand on top of his. But decided not to. She didn't want him to see her weak...

Weakness or courage?